WALT write a timed recount about a time
when we did something special with our whanau or family.
Write about:
·
when and where you did something special
·
who was with you
·
what you did (think about the order you did things)
·
how you felt and why you felt this way.
By Amelia
Snelleksz
Once I went on a
fantastic trip on an aeroplane and I went to Australia. It took three hours to
get there. The ride in the plane was very bumpy and because it was so bumpy it
made me feel a bit sick every time when I had a sip or a big drink. It was a
bit funny sometimes because when I was going to have a drink of my Fanta, I was
still drinking when the bumps came and when I was drinking it almost made me
spit my Fanta right out of my mouth and when I was finished I went on the thing
that you can watch movies or play games on and I played a couple of games then
I listened to some music and last I watched some movies too and every time that
the people announced that there was water or coffee or food to eat it paused
whatever you were on. For most of the way when I was on music I listened to
Adam Lambert.
Next
steps
Break up some of the very long sentences
into shorter ones to make the story easier to read by not using too many “and’s”